I Don’t Know What You Want!!

Click to visit the Siren Stories website and read more work by J.J. Barnes and check out her latest novels.

Click to visit the Siren Stories website and read more work by J.J. Barnes and check out her latest novels.

I believe if you have never stared at a crying baby whilst wailing “I don’t know what you want!” Then you’ve not really experienced parenting. My poor little baby roots gets so frustrated. I can see in her little two month old face a desperation to communicate, to tell me what she wants, and her frustration that I don’t understand.

This morning such an incident occurred. She was clean, she was warm and dry, she had only just had a booby so why was she crying? Cuddling didn’t work, singing didn’t work (in all honesty it probably made it worse), and rocking didn’t work. I desperately tried to attach her to a nipple which seemed to only enrage her further until she erupted with a projectile wave of sticky milk. It was all over her, all over my boob, all over my top, all over my jeans, all over the sofa, and all over her snowman teddy… I wailed, she cheered up.

If she could only learn to tell me what she wants I know it would make both our lives easier. And I know she’s getting angry that she can’t. Her little red face sometimes screws up with such fury that seems directed more at herself than at me.

That said, she’s generally a very chilled out little person (as long as she always gets what she wants). I can take her out with my friends and to restaurants in the evening and she will be contented and quiet, either napping or gazing around wide eyed watching everything that’s going on. Indeed, she enchants an endless stream of sexy waiters in a way that makes her mummy proud and makes her father want to whip out an application to send her to a nunnery.

The next stage is her learning to manipulate me. Her daddy will always be wrapped around her little finger so I suspect it will be down to me to not let her think crying will get her everything she wants as it does now, for down that path I believe lies the madness of a child screaming until it is indulged with chocolate, and that is not a future I believe will do either of us any good.

Fortunately I am enjoying this, I believe I have found my place and reason for being on this planet. I am a mum. I was a mum before I had her, I just had to wait for my baby. It’s hard, I don’t know what I’m doing, and I’m pretty confident I am going to make lots of mistakes, but I love it. I love her.

You can check out all my contact info an links on http://www.jjbarnes.co.uk, I’m on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram so you can get in touch on there, as well as find links to all my work. There’s also http://www.sirenstories.co.uk which has all the work by both myself and The Boy (Jonathan McKinney) and loads of extra content such as background stories for different characters. If you want to subscribe on Patreon, its just $1 a month to help support our work and it also grants you access to our extra podcast a week, you can go to http://www.patreon.com/sirenstories.

Thanks as always for reading, and I’ll speak to you soon I hope!

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