Her Happiness, Not Mine

Click to visit the Siren Stories website and read more work by J.J. Barnes and check out her latest novels.

Click to visit the Siren Stories website and read more work by J.J. Barnes and check out her latest novels.

When I think about Miss Rose’s future I love the idea of her being a high powered lawyer putting dangerous criminals away, fighting on the side of good, and defending the innocent. I love the idea of her being a teacher, helping to shape minds of the young and guiding others to fulfilling their dreams. I love the idea of her being a painter, creative and artistic splashing paint onto a canvas with wonderous glee.

Will she love the sciences like her uncle, physical sports like her father, or the arts like her mother? Will she have rhythm like me or dance to her own off beat like her granny? Will she be able to sing or be tone deaf?

When, if, she falls in love will it be with a man or a woman? Someone black, white or asian? Will they be older or younger? Will she want children? How many?

Ultimately my dreams for my child are for her to find happiness. Whatever she does, wherever she lives and whoever she loves I want her to be happy. Right now her happiness depends entirely on me. If she’s fed, clean, warm and cuddled she is happy, but soon she will grow and I wont be the be all and end all of her happiness and external forces will come into play. She herself and those around her will affect her happiness and I will have to relinquish more and more control over that. That will be hard, but at least she will grow up knowing that as long as she finds happiness her mother will never be disappointed in her then surely that will do her good. She will be able to follow the path she wants not the path she thinks she has to, and be herself at all times.

I think as parents to believe that your child should follow only one path that leads to your own happiness is the most selfish thing we can do. We have created these lives that, whilst connected to our own, are seperate with their own dreams and desires, their own wants and needs, and those are just as important as, in fact I think more important than, our own. Wish for happiness. Don’t wish for success, don’t wish for wealth, don’t wish for the perfect 2.4 children in the house in the suburbs. Wish for happiness, and wish they find that happiness sooner rather than later, then accept it in whichever form it arrives in because that life will be with them long after we as the parents have gone.

You can check out all my contact info an links on http://www.jjbarnes.co.uk, I’m on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram so you can get in touch on there, as well as find links to all my work. There’s also http://www.sirenstories.co.uk which has all the work by both myself and The Boy (Jonathan McKinney) and loads of extra content such as background stories for different characters. If you want to subscribe on Patreon, its just $1 a month to help support our work and it also grants you access to our extra podcast a week, you can go to http://www.patreon.com/sirenstories.

Thanks as always for reading, and I’ll speak to you soon I hope!

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3 responses to “Her Happiness, Not Mine

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  2. Very good article. I absolutely love this website.
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