Recently a case has been in the public eye of a mother who took her four month old son Django to see his sister’s drum and base band play at a rave. He was wearing ear protectors and slept through the entire thing but she made a public apology after being widely criticised.
Did she do anything wrong? I think it depends.
A lot of people have said “WHY would you take a four month old baby out for the evening with you?” I take Rose everywhere I go, if I go, she goes. We take her to pubs, restaurants, shopping, friends houses for dinner, anywhere really. She’s breast fed and won’t take a bottle, we keep trying, she keeps throwing a fit. But really it’s more to the point that we enjoy having her with us; she’s very good when we’re out and actually enjoys the noise and the lights, it means I’m relaxed because I’m not worrying about her, and she’s freaking awesome why wouldn’t we want her there?
I wouldn’t take her to a lot of places however, I wouldn’t take her anywhere extremely loud such as the cinema or to see a live band. I’d be concerned for her ears. But as I said, the mum of baby Django had proper ear protectors for him and he wasn’t even aware it was going on, so if I had those for Rose? I’d probably take her louder places.
Last night we went to a friend’s birthday party. We only intended to stay an hour as it started later than is ideal when you’re going to be up most of the night feeding and then getting up at stupid O’clock because a certain small human has decided she’s a morning person… well I’m up…. He’s snoring happily into the baby monitor. We went to a local bar and Miss Rose soaked in the attention loving every second. She listened to the music and looked at the neon lights and got kissed and cuddled by everyone; her favourite things. But then a band started. I panicked. It was LOUD. I grabbed her and told my husband we have to leave, he said to stop and get her into her fluffy suit because it was cold outside, and so I tried but my hands we shaking so badly a friend had to help. All the time around me the sound of the drums and speakers bashing out the noise seemed to be closing in, getting louder all the time, potentially destroying my precious, tiny baby’s ear drums.
In all honesty she seemed distinctly unconcerned. She likes loud music in the car, indeed Billy Joel turned up to 25 settles her into a blissful sleep, and as the band thronged she just seemed to listen contentedly. But I had no control. It was loud, so loud I couldn’t hear what people were saying, and I couldn’t turn the volume down if I was worried, which I was. So I ended up charging out of the bar without properly saying goodbye to the birthday girls and quaking outside, clutching my perfectly happy, perfectly healthy child to my chest whilst my husband tried to figure out why I was so upset.
So, should the mum have taken Django? If his ears were protected and he was safe, yes, why not? Would I? No. I don’t want to take Rose anywhere she needs additional safety equipment, at least not yet. So it does mean I won’t get to see live bands or movies at the cinema for a while but c’est la vie. To know my baby is safe, and to be able to have her with me, matters so much more. Cutting certain bits out of my social life to achieve that is totally fine, life changes with a baby, but whatever you miss out on you gain so much more.
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Thanks as always for reading, and I’ll speak to you soon I hope!