There are a couple of people in my husbands family who strongly dislike me. Strongly. Wedding boycottingly so. I’m not entirely sure why; I know I’m a bit annoying but I wouldn’t have thought I was THAT annoying. But anyway, that’s besides the point.
I’ve only seen them once since Miss Rose was born when she was a month old. They blanked me, which is fine. It makes me really sad but I’m a big girl and if that’s what they want to do then fair enough. The problem is they also ignored her. At a month old it was immaterial; unless you were made of my boobs she had no interest in you anyway. But now… Now she smiles and waves and says “hiya”. She toddles up to people grinning and loves to be picked up and cuddled and talked to. Now if they ignore her it will be obvious and cruel. But still not something she will take personally… She will just be happy for someone else to talk to her.
What worries me is that as she grows she won’t understand. It won’t continue to be fine. It will hurt her. How far will this be taken? I’m raising Miss Rose to value the importance of family, to love family above all others, and to feel safe and protected within hers. She will not understand why certain people ignore her mummy, and, if they decide to take it that far, why they ignore her too.
To be honest it’s really upsetting me. I’m not expecting to be best buddies, not everyone gets on with everyone else and that’s absolutely fine, but I am desperate to be able to get on with them so that Rose doesn’t have to be aware of any problems. At some point in her life people will be unkind to her, it has to happen, but I don’t want it to happen in her own, safe family.
Say what you want to me, love me or loathe me, but be good to my daughter. She deserves so much better than me. I don’t know what I’m going to do, I don’t know how I will cope if they do blank her too, but I’m dreading it. I feel sick when I think about it. She deserves so much better.
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Thanks as always for reading, and I’ll speak to you soon I hope!