In just over a year Miss Rose has never been exposed to cruelty. I have used my stern voice, which she hates, and she’s been ignored by indifferent strangers, but she’s never had anyone be mean.
One day it will happen because some people suck. Lots of them actually. One day someone will burst this beautiful bubble and that will be heartbreaking.
On Saturday my mum and I took Miss Rose on the train into Birmingham. The trains were busy and Miss Rose, being a one year old, was not prepared to sit still, quietly, and not get in the way. This could have resulted in some grumpy commuters but instead as she waved and babbled and wandered back and forth down the carriage to my mum and I everyone was so wonderful. They waved back, laughed, chatted and cooed over her. She was patted and fussed, and smiled wonderfully at all who crossed her path.
But it won’t always be like that. There are people out there who are bullies. They are cruel. People who like to pick on the weak and the vulnerable for sport, and anyone smaller than them is their target. I have people like that in my family, and there are people like that around us all the time. Fortunately, so far, I am able to either protect Miss Rose from seeing it or they don’t turn their venom on her because as a baby with a stroppy mother she is not an easy target. But that won’t always be the case.
When I see injustice, people in positions of authority abusing it, people who are strong bullying the weak just because they can, I want to fight them and stop it happening. But this isn’t something I can always do. It’s not always appropriate to go sticking my nose into the business of others. But Miss Rose… For now she is someone I can fight for. If anyone dare try and treat her badly they will meet mama bear and i will fight for her and they will regret ever thinking she is someone they can abuse.
But I know that can’t last. I know because it couldn’t last for my mother. My mother is capable of full blown mama bear rage but she couldn’t always protect me. She couldn’t always fight for me and people took advantage of that. I was that weaker person. I was used and abused, beaten both physically and verbally. And I was an adult, and my mother couldn’t save me, just be there to pick up the pieces when I allowed it.
My aim is to provide Rose with so much security, so much safety, at home that any knocks the world blows her will just knock her down onto a cushion she can pull herself back up from. To give her self assurance, and self worth, so people can’t see her as weak. Make her strong so she can stop those who try to take advantage of her. I can’t always do it for her, I need to make her able to do it herself. She needs to know I will be behind her every step of the way, but be comfortable with me cheering her on not fighting everything for her.
People suck. But with the right weapons we can combat their cruelty.
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Thanks as always for reading, and I’ll speak to you soon I hope!