Shouty Mum

Click to visit the Siren Stories website and read more work by J.J. Barnes and check out her latest novels.

Click to visit the Siren Stories website and read more work by J.J. Barnes and check out her latest novels.

I was never going to be a shouty mum. I was going to be calm, reasonable, and gentle in my approach to bad behaviour. To give myself credit I usually am fairly calm most of the time but today not so much.

My husband and I had some tragic news yesterday as a family member has passed. We are both heartbroken and stressed, but in front of Miss Rose maintaining a cheerful demeanour to avoid upsetting her with something she could have no comprehension of. But despite best efforts it has left us both that step closer to the edge than we normally are.

Today Miss Rose has been naughty. She has whinged and tantrummed. She has clung and clawed, snotted and shouted. She has repeatedly yanked things out of my kitchen cupboard despite being repeatedly told no.

There is, unfortunately, only so many times I can say “No darling”, “No sweetheart”, “No honey” and calmly replace the piece of contraband she is making off with and provide her with a legal toy to play with. I reached my tether after perhaps the fifteenth effort and let rip with an almighty “NO ROSE!”

Unfortunately this was not met with obedience. It was met with giggles. Giggles at a mother with a hurting head, a dinner on the stove, and absolutely no patience left. The repeated “NO ROSE!” as she continued to ignore me left me on the brink of tears and heading next door to thrust her into the arms of my brother so I could take a moment to breathe before my head exploded.

I became a shouty mum and I’m not proud. But I’m unhappy and hurting. I’m hoping that the occasional loss of patience, when really at my limit, resulting in shouts will not scar her for life. I’m also hoping that one day she will understand, perhaps not until she has a wayward toddler of her own, but one day.

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Thanks as always for reading, and I’ll speak to you soon I hope!


10 responses to “Shouty Mum

  1. I sometimes find myself being a shouty mum normally when there is something else on my mind. I find apologising and explaining why helps. Sorry to hear your sad news.


  2. As one who was shouted at often, I can say that what I took with me was the proportionately stronger trait: patience and love. Much as the less than optimal responses pain us as parents, they really are an excellent opportunity to show what “sorry” means and that it’s something everyone-even parents!–must occasionally do.

    Sorry for your loss. 😦


  3. I find myself being a shouty mum at times like this and then feel guilty. Sorry to hear your sad news.


  4. Sorry to hear you had bad news. Thoughts are with you all at this hard time.

    If it’s any consolation, Mouse laughs at being told off too, both at home and at nursery. I’ve only really roared at her a couple of times, but both were met with mirth. I guess they’re still learning about emotions.


  5. Sorry for your loss :-(. I think all parents are shouty at times. I know I am! You are human and you are showing your child that everyone shows their emotions differently at different times. Iddon’t think it is a bad thing, now and again. If someone shouts at her later on in her life, it will have prepared her to know how to respond to it and to know that there is a reason behind it. Children pick up on emotions and I know mine always push me to the limit when I’ve got something on mind. Please don’t worry about it too much. Your children know they are loved.



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