2014 got off to an awful start with a death. January continued to get worse and worse with pain, death and loss. I had my eyes set on February, determined that Saturday the 1st would be stupendous and get the rest of the year off to a fabulous start.
It was not stupendous. It was not fabulous.
Apparently 2014 started as it meant to go on and we just have to grit our teeth, cling on, and endure the ride.
The shining light in this world of hideousness is Miss Rose. The screaming, thrashing, tantruming, food throwing, floor painting, wall climbing bed hogging creature I share my home with. The smiling, laughing, kissing, cuddling creature. The loving, cheeky, funny creature. The light through the dark.
Miss Rose is unaware of any problems or pain. For Miss Rose life is continuing as normal. She is being taken swimming and shopping, going for walks and crashing around playgroups. She doesn’t know and that, for me, is essential. She is old enough now to be affected by emotions and changes in her lifestyle and she doesn’t like her routine messed up. So it isn’t.
To quote Jeff Goldblum in Jurassic Park (I’m a film geek, get over it) Life will find a way.
Our lives continue as before this wretched year began. Life has found a way to carry on and it shall continue to do so. In the face of adversity life continues as normally as possible. Miss Rose needs that, and even when I want to curl up in a ball, beg the world to disappear, and drown myself in a bottle of wine, I grit my teeth, pack our bag, and splash around the swimming pool cheering her on. Perhaps I drown myself in half a bottle of wine after she’s gone to bed…. But still.
Life will find a way. We will get through this year. For better for worse. In sickness and in health. We will survive this.
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Thanks as always for reading, and I’ll speak to you soon I hope!