Feeling Loved

Click to visit the Siren Stories website and read more work by J.J. Barnes and check out her latest novels.

Click to visit the Siren Stories website and read more work by J.J. Barnes and check out her latest novels.

They say that when times are bad you discover who your true friends are. They, whoever “they” are, are right.

Right now times are pretty damn bad. Ive found myself flung head, and broken heart, first into the roll of unemployed single mother (official title according to recent doctor’s referral) and I recently did an online IQ test which gave me a result of 70. Talk about kicking a girl when she’s down!

Despite these reasons to daily find myself curled up on the floor in a ball of misery, I have laughed, genuinely laughed, every day. I have smiled, I have felt happy, and, most importantly, I have felt loved. Truly, absolutely, loved.

My friends are phenomenal. Aimee-Rose showed up armed with chocolate and bath crayons (seriously awesome gift by the way), helped with Rose’s bedtime, then stayed out of the way whilst I spun in small circles talking and drinking. Stef sent me an absolutely gorgeous wall hanging declaring my strength and bravery. Abi had me crying with laughter with conversations so funny, and yet so disturbing, that I can’t repeat them here. I’ve had messages of support and love from all around the world, hugs from everyone, and offerings of help and distraction from life from everywhere. People I’ve never met and people I see daily all coming forwards in a time of crisis.

To my friends, my amazing friends, you will never know how much you mean to me.

And my mother? My mother. My mother who takes Rose when she’s having a tantrum and I am close to following suit. My mum who watches CBeebies with Rose so I can have a shower and shave my legs. My mum who comes to playgroups and swimming, the park and the shops, just so I’m not going on my own. My mum who has let me cover her in tears and listened to me shout in rage with both patience and compassion.

My mum.

Miss Rose is having a hard time adjusting to our new family set up, and is getting very upset very quickly by a lot of things. She is constantly needing reassurance that I am there and I haven’t left. My mum is the only person who she is comfortable being with if I’m not there. My mum can soothe her, reassure her, and make her feel safe and secure in a time when she feels so vulnerable.

Thank you mummy.

You can check out all my contact info an links on www.jjbarnes.co.uk, I’m on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram so you can get in touch on there, as well as find links to all my work. There’s also www.sirenstories.co.uk which has all the work by both myself and Jonathan McKinney and loads of extra content such as background stories for different characters. If you want to subscribe on Patreon, its just $1 a month to help support our work and it also grants you access to our extra podcast a week, you can go to www.patreon.com/sirenstories.

Thanks as always for reading, and I’ll speak to you soon I hope!

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