Miss Rose has taken to roaring.
Katy Perry manages to make “Roar” sound like something empowering, exciting and happy. Miss Rose manages to make “Roar” sound like something akin to the noise a furious, constipated and pre-menstrual lion might make.
I am assured this is a phase. I suspect the combination of teething, a stinking cold, her father’s absence from her life and general toddler fury are behind it. But my goodness the fury is quite intense.
When I was a toddler, my mother informs me, I tantrummed once. I tantrummed in the entrance to Marks and Spencers, she ignored me, and I stopped and never bothered again. This is not the experience I have with Miss Rose. Miss Rose is damned determined.
There are chocolate buttons in the fridge. Every few days I give her one as a little treat. She has worked out where they are and how to get them. If I open the fridge to get out milk or butter, and in between using it I don’t relock the fridge, she swoops over like a chocolate button ninja, opens the fridge and steals the bag. I take it from her with a stern “no”, put it back in the fridge and apply the lock.
In response to this thwarting of her desires, Miss Rose roars her roariest of roars and flings herself the ground. I go back to making my coffee or buttering the toast, she gets up, attempts to open the fridge again, then on finding her ninja skills prevented at the first step roars again and repeats the floor slamming move.
Every single time.
She will roar in shops, in the street, at playgroup and in the swimming pool. She will roar day and night. She will roar the moment anything occurs that she doesn’t find instantly pleasing, and even then sometimes she will roar.
Her teeth will come through and her cold will clear up. Her father is not coming back and her toddlerdom will last a while longer. Will fifty percent of her troubles reduce the need to roar?
I hope so… I fear this is a precursor to the hell this little woman is going to put me through once she’s a teenager.
Damn good job she’s cute.
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Thanks as always for reading, and I’ll speak to you soon I hope!