Roar

Click to visit the Siren Stories website and read more work by J.J. Barnes and check out her latest novels.

Click to visit the Siren Stories website and read more work by J.J. Barnes and check out her latest novels.

Miss Rose has taken to roaring.

Katy Perry manages to make “Roar” sound like something empowering, exciting and happy. Miss Rose manages to make “Roar” sound like something akin to the noise a furious, constipated and pre-menstrual lion might make.

I am assured this is a phase. I suspect the combination of teething, a stinking cold, her father’s absence from her life and general toddler fury are behind it. But my goodness the fury is quite intense.

When I was a toddler, my mother informs me, I tantrummed once. I tantrummed in the entrance to Marks and Spencers, she ignored me, and I stopped and never bothered again. This is not the experience I have with Miss Rose. Miss Rose is damned determined.

There are chocolate buttons in the fridge. Every few days I give her one as a little treat. She has worked out where they are and how to get them. If I open the fridge to get out milk or butter, and in between using it I don’t relock the fridge, she swoops over like a chocolate button ninja, opens the fridge and steals the bag. I take it from her with a stern “no”, put it back in the fridge and apply the lock.

In response to this thwarting of her desires, Miss Rose roars her roariest of roars and flings herself the ground. I go back to making my coffee or buttering the toast, she gets up, attempts to open the fridge again, then on finding her ninja skills prevented at the first step roars again and repeats the floor slamming move.

Every time.

Every single time.

She will roar in shops, in the street, at playgroup and in the swimming pool. She will roar day and night. She will roar the moment anything occurs that she doesn’t find instantly pleasing, and even then sometimes she will roar.

Her teeth will come through and her cold will clear up. Her father is not coming back and her toddlerdom will last a while longer. Will fifty percent of her troubles reduce the need to roar?

I hope so… I fear this is a precursor to the hell this little woman is going to put me through once she’s a teenager.

Damn good job she’s cute.

You can check out all my contact info an links on www.jjbarnes.co.uk, I’m on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram so you can get in touch on there, as well as find links to all my work. There’s also www.sirenstories.co.uk which has all the work by both myself and Jonathan McKinney and loads of extra content such as background stories for different characters. If you want to subscribe on Patreon, its just $1 a month to help support our work and it also grants you access to our extra podcast a week, you can go to www.patreon.com/sirenstories.

Thanks as always for reading, and I’ll speak to you soon I hope!

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4 responses to “Roar

  1. That’s my favourite saying I use- “Damn good job he’s cute”!!!

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  2. It sounds like the PERFECT premise for a children’s book! “Rose: The Girl who ROARS!” 😀

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  3. Molly can roar too. She throws herself face down on the carpet, kicks and screams. We say “drama queen” and ignore her, but it’s bloody hard, especially when I worry that her getting so worked up will end in puke. You have my sympathy x

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