Miss Rose has not been the best sleeper. Until recently she has still had a few bottles of milk every night. I had hoped that she would wean herself off them and gradually reduce as her food intake increased during the day. But that failed. She has, if anything, been getting worse.
My aunty, and a couple of playgroup mummies, gave me a talking to. She is old enough to not need milk in the night. It is okay to refuse it to her. She does need to sleep more, and as do I. It has been eighteen months and the time has come. I’m never going to be comfortable ignoring her cries, and I have no intention of leaving her suffering at night because it is inconvenient. However, it does prohibit me having a social life and it does mean we both wake up tired every morning.
The time has come, the walrus said.
The first night was ghastly, just awful. She protested. She whinged and cried and smacked me in the face. She comes and gets into my bed whenever she wants, which I’m fine with, but it does a rather me I’m easily attacked when she isn’t getting her own way. It’s remarkable how vulnerable the nose is at 1am. We were up for most of the night.
But I wanted to persevere. Not give up at the first hurdle.
The second night was massively better. She came stumbling into my bedroom at around midnight, and flung herself down on my bed next to me then snuggled in for a cuddle. Then she slept. For nearly seven hours. In one stretch. IT’S A MIRACLE.
Now my challenge is for her to wake up, and resettle herself without me. Without kisses and cuddles. She can do it without milk, can she do it without me? I’m happy for her to cuddle up in my bed, if that is what she wants, but once she can settle herself back to sleep on her own I have a freedom I’ve not experienced in a long time. I can have friends round and not rush up to settle her. I can leave her with other people for a night and know she will not get in a panic needing me with her. I can, in theory, get a complete night’s sleep.
So, tonight, I am trying it. I want to go to bed now, because I’m tired, but I’m not. I’m staying up and waiting to see how she does. If she’s not ready then she’s not ready and we can try again in time. But if she is ready, my goodness. The world is my oyster. Sleep is my darling.
Wish me luck!
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Thanks as always for reading, and I’ll speak to you soon I hope!