Miss Rose and I are not seeing eye to eye.
Actually that’s not true, it’s usually whilst we are seeing eye to eye in bed that we are falling out.
She is going through a sleep regression. Gone are the days where she is settled by 7, sneaks into my bed around midnight, then sleeps until half 5 or 6. It’s just over. She now starts shrieking around 9. Then sleeps for a little bit. Then shrieks around 10. And this keeps going until she refuses to settle past 3 and screams and thrashes and wails until we get up at 5 because I cannot take it any longer.
She is napping as normal, although this is rarely longer than 40 minutes at mid day, and going to sleep a little earlier in the evening, but the night time just becomes dreadful. Utterly dreadful.
I’m exhausted, she’s exhausted, and we are both quite grumpy most of the time because of it.
At 4 this morning I was at the point of “FOR GOD’S SAKE ROSE SHUT UP”
She needs to sleep. She knows she needs to sleep. She is rubbing her eyes, yawning, and keeps dropping off. Then flings herself awake again in order to scream at me.
I hate hearing her cry, I hate that she is distressed, but quite honestly I am starting to lose sympathy. The reason she feels like that is because she is tired, and the reason she is tired is because she is refusing to sleep. When she was sleeping well we were both much happier people.
Why, when we have just got things figured out, and just worked out what’s going on, do they suddenly decide to change things? Is it to keep us on our toes? Stop our minds wandering away from them and their needs?
I don’t consider myself a bad mother, I’m no perfect mother believe me, but I’m not bad. But after dark I am feeling myself become a bad mother. Because I’m at my wit’s end.
JUST SHUT UP AND GO TO SLEEP!
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Thanks as always for reading, and I’ll speak to you soon I hope!