What’s The Rush?

Click to visit the Siren Stories website and read more work by J.J. Barnes and check out her latest novels.

Click to visit the Siren Stories website and read more work by J.J. Barnes and check out her latest novels.

There seems to be a rush amongst mummies to move ahead in the milestones. Potty training, getting rid of bottles, no more push chair, etc.

Miss Rose is not potty trained. She knows what the toilet is and is quite emphatic about wanting me to use it. She will drag her grandmother to the toilet, lift the lid, then point at the seat and say “Weewee!” But she doesn’t have any control yet. She also has no desire to potty train. I am not worried about it, she’s only one and a half.

She also loves her bottles. She has a bottle of milk at bedtime, usually one first thing, and often one in the afternoon. She doesn’t drink a full bottle usually, she eats a healthy and balanced diet, and is not suffering with any weight issues. She is active and smart. If she wants milk in a bottle, I see no reason why not to. She gets the milk out of the fridge, brings it to me and says “Bobble”. She knows what she wants, it does her no harm, so a “bobble” she has.

I also still use her pushchair. When I don’t use it she is usually in the baby backpack. Not because she can’t walk, she can, but it takes a long time and the places we walk to I usually have things to carry. I use the pushchair when I want her to have a nap on the way or on the way back from somewhere. She cuddles down and goes to sleep. Perfect. She goes in the backpack when we are walking the dog or going shopping. It means my hands are free, I don’t have to worry about her escaping, and we get to move at a normal pace. Yes she could walk more, but for the time being it is easier all round if she doesn’t. She’s happy to sleep in the buggy, and she adores riding in the baby backpack. Happy all round!

When she was smaller I used to worry about milestones. She crawled late, and I worried. But she walked early. She took to solids late, and I worried. But she eats fantastically varied food now. She gets there. She gets there in her own time, and in her own way, but she gets there.

Photo credit Jean Downs

Photo credit Jean Downs

I am regularly told that she is a bright, happy little person and I should be proud both of her, and myself for raising her that way. And I am. She is bright, and she is happy. So yeah, she might be behind her peers in some things, but she’s equal or ahead at others.

My new rule is “go at her pace”. When she’s ready she will let me know. When she’s ready she will do it. I just have to understand her, recognise what she is capable of and wants, and follow it. Because quite frankly the stress of worrying and pushing her to do more than she’s ready for messes us both up and leads to stress, tears and yet more worry. Taking a laid back approach, just bumbling along in our own way and ignoring what she “should” be doing at this stage, means we are both relaxed and we are both happy, and we can enjoy the stage she’s at right now.

A friend of mine has two children, aged twelve and nine, and regularly tells me he misses them being small. Yes, they’re amazing now, and in some ways a lot more fun, but the stage of being little is over so fast it is hard not to miss it. Because whilst it’s going on you don’t appreciate it and keep wanting more and more and more… then it’s gone. They can do the more and more and more you wanted. They’re doing more and more and more of their own things in their own way with their friends, not with you.

Miss Rose will always be my baby, but I don’t know if I will ever have another actual baby, and I am in no rush to age her on from where she is. That said, when she brandishes a bottle of milk at me declaring “bobble” and gets frustrated that it doesn’t happen immediately because I’m sat on the toilet and really rather occupied, so she then throws it on my foot… that is one of the times I’m rather looking forward to the next stage in her development.

You can check out all my contact info an links on www.jjbarnes.co.uk, I’m on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram so you can get in touch on there, as well as find links to all my work. There’s also www.sirenstories.co.uk which has all the work by both myself and Jonathan McKinney and loads of extra content such as background stories for different characters. If you want to subscribe on Patreon, its just $1 a month to help support our work and it also grants you access to our extra podcast a week, you can go to www.patreon.com/sirenstories.

Thanks as always for reading, and I’ll speak to you soon I hope!


One response to “What’s The Rush?

  1. Agreed they are only going to be small once, they should be enjoyed and we shouldn’t be stressing over the small stuff!



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