Hateful Responses To Rejection

J.J. Barnes, Siren Stories, The Lilly Prospero Series, Rose And Mum And More, Mummy Blogger, Parenting Blog

Click to visit the Siren Stories website and read more work by J.J. Barnes and check out her latest novels.

If you’re a woman who has hit puberty you will more than likely have had to reject men whom are attempting to have sex with you, and therefore you’ll more than likely have heard one of these hateful responses to said rejections.


Clearly I’m not protesting enough, douchebag. If I say yes it means yes, if I say no it means no. I might say no fifty five thousand times but it’s still not “protesting too much” because there is no such thing as protesting so much that it’s a secret sign I mean yes.


The thing is I actually know what’s in my own head. You don’t. Telling me I want you doesn’t make it so because I’m not a puppet. I’m a human with my own thoughts and you’re not Professor Charles Xavier and you can’t psychically change what I do and don’t want.

J.J. Barnes, The Lilly Prospero Series, Lilly Prospero, Siren Stories, Rose And Mum And More, Mummy Blogger, Parenting Blog

Photo credit Geralt


Smiling, being friendly, flirting, kissing, dancing… none of these things are offers of sex. They’re nothing more than what they are. They’re smiling, being friendly, flirting, kissing and dancing. They do not intrinsically carry the offer of sex. If I was offering sex I would offer sex, kissing you then turning down sex is not being a tease, it’s just not wanting to have sex with you.


*Insert whatever sexual act they think is an appropriate alternative to full intercourse*

The thing is, not wanting to have sex with you does not mean you can gradually convince me by offering opportunities lower down on the sexual ladder. If I see it, I’m not going to suddenly want it inside me.


I know everyone loves a guilt trip, but really, however close we are and however good friends we are, if you use that against me you’re going to immediately destroy my trust in you. As well as not changing the fact I don’t want to have sex with you. Ever. Trust does not equal sexual attraction, and if you want to change a friendship into a sexual relationship it doesn’t mean I’m obligated to feel the same, and pressuring me ruins whatever friendship we may have had left.

J.J. Barnes, Rose And Mum And More Blog, Siren Stories, The Lilly Prospero Series, Lilly Prospero

Photo credit Bohed


Ah the classic, rejecting you means obviously I’m a bitch. CLEARLY. Because, as a woman, it is my duty to be subservient to you and give you full access to my body if you want it. I should even be grateful to you. Daring to say no is deserving of an insult because, to you, women shouldn’t be allowed to say no. Asshat.


We need to change the culture. A sexual rejection means nothing is wrong with you, and it means nothing is wrong with me, it is a simple fact that not everyone needs to have sex with each other. Wanting to have sex with someone doesn’t mean they’re obligated to return the feelings. Women are not saying no so you can persuade them, they’re not saying no as a challenge, and they’re not saying no because they’re bad people. They’re just saying no because they don’t want to have sex with you whether it’s right now or ever. And guess what, that’s okay! Just go have sex with someone who actually wants to have sex with you!

And ladies, remember you’re not wrong. You are NOT WRONG for not wanting to have sex with someone, and if they try and pressure you it’s THEIR problem, not yours. You have the rights over your body, not them.

Reject or accept, it’s up to you, and it’s nobody’s business which you do.

You can check out all my contact info an links on www.jjbarnes.co.uk, I’m on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram so you can get in touch on there, as well as find links to all my work. There’s also www.sirenstories.co.uk which has all the work by both myself and Jonathan McKinney and loads of extra content such as background stories for different characters. If you want to subscribe on Patreon, its just $1 a month to help support our work and it also grants you access to our extra podcast a week, you can go to www.patreon.com/sirenstories.

Thanks as always for reading, and I’ll speak to you soon I hope!


One response to “Hateful Responses To Rejection


Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s