Yesterday I made a big decision. I decided to put my wedding dress on Ebay.
My ex husband and I separated in February last year. Our divorce came through in February this year. I have been in a serious relationship with The Boy since November. I was not holding onto this dress because of lingering feelings of loss for a failed marriage I do not miss. I kept it for Miss Rose.
When Miss Rose was conceived, it was in a loving marriage. She was planned, she was wanted, and that relationship was significant. I wanted to hold onto certain items of memorabilia from that time so that she would understand it. So that her relationship with her father would be strengthened for the knowledge that so much love was there.
I kept it because I believed her father would be in her life. Because I believed they would have an important relationship. Because I respected their right to a relationship.
He hasn’t seen her in eleven weeks. Has he thought of her? I don’t know. He hasn’t text or phoned either.
Do you know who has seen her? The Boy. Who got up with her at 5AM on Sunday morning? The Boy. Who does she cry for if he’s left for work before she gets up? The Boy.
I kept my wedding things because I wanted to respect the relationship Miss Rose has with her biological father. But he doesn’t respect it. Me keeping my dress, my rings, doesn’t make their relationship real. His effort does. His love does. His concern for her does. Me selling them doesn’t end their relationship. His lack of contact, lack of effort and lack of interest does.
The relationship I want to preserve memories of for is with The Boy. I want her to see the receipts from our first dates. The cork from our first champagne. The love notes we first wrote one another. I want her to see the cards he first gave her and photos of the first times they played together. Because this is the relationship she will grow up respecting. Her relationship with him is the one she will grow up needing and valuing. His dedication to her, love for her, is what she will grow up knowing, and I don’t need a wedding dress to prove to her that he loves her and she matters; he does that every single day all by himself.
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Thanks as always for reading, and I’ll speak to you soon I hope!