Having a child together had long been in our plans. Before I got involved with The Boy I hadn’t been concerned about whether I’d have another child, it was a case of “if it happens, it happens. If it doesn’t, I’ve got Rose and I’m happy.” Then when The Boy and I became more serious and I could see my future with him becoming a reality, having a child seemed like the most natural and truly honest thing we could do. We talked about it, how one day we’d do it, one day we’d add a human to our family made of both of us, and how lovely it would be to do.
Turns out that day is a little sooner than anticipated and our little patchwork family came together last night to announce our upcoming arrival to the world.
When we started our relationship in November 2014 our lives changed forever. It started as an exciting love affair, we spent all our time either together or wishing we were together, and soon we were living together. Into our little house we now share we brought a child each from our previous marriages, and enough toys, furniture and love to fill it to the rafters. And we never looked back.
When I found out I was pregnant I was shocked, to say the least, but even in my most “oh my God how are we going to fit yet another human into this little house” type panic moment, at no point did I worry how The Boy would take it. At no point did I fear he would be upset or angry, that he would worry it’s too soon or we aren’t ready. Telling him was, and is, one of my most favourite experiences. The way his face lit up and how tears of joy came to his eyes. How his hands immediately went to my stomach (defintiely stomach, not actually where the tiny sesame seed sized embryo was actually residing) and how he immediately asked if I was okay and if I wanted any custard (no idea why), was truly beautiful. He spent the whole evening stroking my legs, kissing my hands, and telling me I’m a wonderful mother and how proud he is of me. He was happy in a way that made me cry just from the sight of it.
People have asked if this pregnancy is a “mistake”. It isn’t. It isn’t a mistake in any way. A mistake is defined as “an act or judgement that is misguided or wrong.” This isn’t wrong. This isn’t misguided. This baby, whilst unexpected sure, is not in any way a mistake because it is so very wanted. It is so very loved.
A surprise can be a good thing and, above all else, this baby is a good thing. This baby is uniting our little patchwork family, our family that extends through ex’s and in laws, new families and old families, and it brings us all together. There is so much love out there in the world for this baby. So much so that our first baby gift came from The Boy’s ex-wife who, without any judgment or criticism, gave us an adorable Yoda baby grow from her holiday, and who regularly texts to see if I’m doing okay and offers hugs of congratulation to us both at every turn.
When we announced on Facebook that we are having a baby the outpouring of joy and celebration was immense. Our phones were beeping all night with likes and words of congratulations from everyone. How can any life that is welcomed with such happiness and love be a mistake?
When this baby arrives will it be hard? Yes. Will we be tired? Yes, extremely. Will we struggle to fit another human body into our already tightly filled house? Yes. Will we regret a single moment of it? No.
What a truly remarkable surprise this baby is. What a truly loved child it will be.
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Thanks as always for reading, and I’ll speak to you soon I hope!